Twi25 Round 3 – prompt 11 – Candid Confessions

This was the first time Edward and I would be out on our own. Well, the first time in a very long time, I should say. We’d been friends for years and used to hang out all the time. That is, up until I figured out that I was gay…and very much crushing on one of my best friends – him.
I was convinced that my feelings were one-sided. As far as I knew, Edward was straight. I’d never seen him with anyone, other than a couple of girls over the years – Rosalie and Bella. Rosalie was still friends with him but had since hooked up with Emmett, another of our friends. Bella and Edward were, as far as I knew at least, still going out.

After my revelation as to my feelings for Edward, I had made sure to never be alone with him. I couldn’t bear to risk losing his friendship altogether, which I was sure would happen if we were left to our devices. It was difficult enough to keep him from learning about my crush on him, though I had long since come out of the closet.
I rarely dated, though. I figured it wasn’t fair to the other guy, when my heart was somewhere else.
Edward cleared his throat, snapping me out of my reverie. I swallowed thickly as I realized I’d been staring at him. His brow was furrowed slightly as he glanced quickly at me before focusing on the road again. “You alright, Jazz? You were gone for a while there.”
I fought to keep the blush off my cheeks. “Yeah, I’m fine. Just thinking about this assignment is all,” I lied.
After learning that I had to work on my final project for my photography class, Edward had offered to drive me to some place he knew. He claimed that it would be perfect for what I needed, which was to capture all nature had to offer. He said that the area he was taking me to was secluded, untouched by man, had a small, crystal clear lake you could see the bottom of, and was full of all sorts of trees and wildflowers – especially in the spring. There were also mountains close by – in short, within a couple of miles, I’d be able to get all the shots I needed.
He’d refused to tell me how he knew of the place, telling me to just go with it. When I’d asked if anyone else was coming, he had simply said that no one was really supposed to be there.
Neither of us spoke further until we arrived at our destination. Climbing out of the car, we both stood for a moment. My hand was resting on the door as I scanned the area, completely in awe of our surroundings. Edward hadn’t been exaggerating when he’d said the place was beautiful and untouched. It was almost pristine.
Edward’s chuckle brought my focus to him. He was leaning against the car, his arms folded and resting on the frame as he grinned. “Quite a sight, huh?”
All I could do was nod.
He ducked back into the car, reappearing seconds later with a bag, a blanket, and a couple of towels draped over his arm. I quickly grabbed my camera, closed the door, and walked around the car. He locked the doors and rolled his eyes at my questioning look. “Old habits die hard, I guess.”
Chuckling, I shook my head. “Suppose so.”
He waved his arm out, indicating which way to go, and we set off at a leisurely pace. Every once in a while, he’d stop, allowing me to snap a few pictures before setting off again. When we got to the lake, he walked off, leaving me to do my thing while he set up a place to sit and eventually have something to eat, since he’d packed a small picnic. He had claimed to want to make a day of it, saying he needed the break from his own studies – something I readily believed, since I knew he wanted to get into Harvard Medical and had been working hard toward his goal.
As I was taking the shots I wanted, I saw movement from the corner of my eye. My eyes widened when I saw Edward undressing, his back toward me as he slowly stripped. He had told me he wanted to go swimming while we were here, and I had thought I would be able to handle it, but as I watched him shed his clothing, I found that I couldn’t.
I snapped picture after picture of him, unable to tear myself away from his magnificent form – certain I’d never get an opportunity like this again. I was trying hard to keep my body’s reaction to him under control, but it was useless. By the time Edward was down to his briefs, I was hard as a rock and breathing shallowly.
He turned around suddenly, catching me in the act. Looking up over my camera, I saw something flash across his face before he grinned at me. He quirked his eyebrow at me in challenge as he hooked his thumbs in his briefs and slowly pulled them down. I gulped as he straightened up, revealing everything for me. I was still taking pictures, as I could hear the faint ‘click, click, click’ as I pressed the button, but I was not fully aware of doing so. My eyes were fixed on him, unable to look anywhere else but at this gorgeous creature.
My mind was racing – reeling at what was happening. We’d never, in all our years as friends, gone skinny-dipping before, so the fact that he was standing in front of me in all his glory left me speechless.
He tilted his head slightly, crooked grin firmly in place as he said, “Coming?”
My first thought was Fuck, I hope so! followed immediately by Get a grip, Jasper! He can’t mean that! He’s straight, remember?
But if he’s straight, my mind argued, then why does he look aroused? Can it be the clandestineness of it? Surely it isn’t because of me?
I gulped as Edward took the few steps needed to close the distance between us, his eyes never leaving mine. They were darker than I had ever seen them; several emotions flickered in them as he stared at me. He didn’t say anything, but he slowly reached to take my camera from my hands before leaning down to carefully put it on the ground. When he stood back up, his eyes roamed my body, and I could feel my heart beat faster at the heat coming off of him. My mind kept up a steady mantra of There’s no way, no way…this isn’t happening…this isn’t real.
I heard Edward take an unsteady breath as he placed his hand on my arm, inching it slowly up until he cupped my jaw. His eyes searched mine as he whispered, “Jasper?”
Afraid to speak, fearing my voice would betray the onslaught of emotion and lust raging through me in that moment, I let out a soft, “Hmm?” to acknowledge him. I waited for him to continue, still certain this was just a dream.
He leaned in, his eyes continuously going back and forth between my own as he breathed, “Tell me to stop, and I will.” And then he kissed me – tentatively at first, a gentle brushing of lips against lips. When he met no resistance, he whimpered softly, “Oh God…Jasper, please,” before his kiss became more urgent.
My brain finally caught up with what was happening, and I put my hand on the back of his head, anchoring him to me as I returned his kiss hungrily, not wanting to miss another second.
Placing my other hand on the small of his back, I pulled him closer to me. The needy moan that escaped him was too much – I pulled away, resting my forehead on his shoulder as I tried to catch my breath. My heart was hammering in my chest as if I’d just run a marathon; my legs were trembling as though I had, too. I felt his arms wrap around my waist, holding me close to him, almost as if he was afraid I’d run away from him if he didn’t. Like I would be able to…or want to.
“Edward? What are you doing?” I rasped out. I didn’t dare lift my head, afraid of what I might see if I met his eyes. I was overwhelmed from being this close to him, feeling him, touching him for the first time. The thought that he was naked had me swallowing back a whimper of my own.
He tilted his head, his lips brushing against my ear as he spoke softly, hesitantly. “I have a confession to make, Jazz. I didn’t bring you here just because of your project…”
At that, I had to look up, and when I did, I met his burning gaze. I could see so many emotions in his eyes that it was hard to catch them all, but I saw determination settle at the forefront as he took a deep breath and continued, “I brought you here so we could be alone, no interruptions, no people hanging around crowding us. Just us.”
My throat had gone dry. I croaked, “Why?”
I caught a hint of amusement in his eyes, as well as…sadness? “Why? Because I needed to be able to talk to you, Jasper.”
He sighed softly, pulling away from me even as he grabbed my hand firmly in his. He leaned down to pick up my camera before walking over to the blanket he had spread. He sat down, tugging my arm to get me to follow, not that I needed much persuasion. I was too stunned to do anything but follow him. I settled against the tree trunk, my legs sprawled out in front of me. Edward still had a hold of my hand, and my eyes flickered between them and his face as I tried to ignore the fact that he still hadn’t made any attempt to cover himself up.
I had so many things racing through my brain that it was almost all white noise. No firm questions were coming to me; it was just static as I waited for him to speak. I wouldn’t have been able to in that moment. Finally, he closed his eyes briefly as he took in a deep breath as if to steel himself. When he opened them again, the determination I had seen earlier was back, as well as sincerity. “Jasper…I’m tired of fighting what I’m feeling. Tired of trying to be something I’m not, and will never be. I’ve tried…God knows I’ve tried…but I can’t do it anymore.”
What is he saying?
I frowned slightly, opening my mouth to ask him, but he silenced me by placing a finger on my lips with a quiet, “Please, Jasper? Let me finish before I lose my nerve…or I may never be able to tell you.”
I nodded, earning me a small smile from Edward. Giving him a smile of my own, I squeezed his hand, urging him to continue.
So softly I almost missed it, he said, “I wish I had the guts to come out like you did, Jazz. You never seemed to be afraid of what anyone might think of you. I’ve always admired you for that.”
Did he just say what I think he did?
His brow was furrowed slightly, and the corner of his lip had disappeared between his teeth as he watched me anxiously. When I didn’t say anything, he said, “I’m gay, too, Jasper. I’ve just been too scared to do anything about it.”
I blinked. It took a minute for my mind to catch up to what I was hearing, and I wanted to kick myself for it because in my silence, Edward had become nervous. He let go of my hand, running his through his hair repeatedly in agitation. I muttered a soft, “Oh God,” but I doubted he heard me – or if he did, he misunderstood it because right in that moment, he backed away slowly, mumbling, “I’m sorry…”
Shaking my head, I pulled him to me, hugging him close in what I hoped was a reassuring gesture, even though my body was screaming at me for something more. Edward put his arms around me, clutching at my shirt as he burrowed his face into my neck. I had to close my eyes and take a couple of steadying breaths before I was able to speak, my voice quiet and slightly awed at the realization that Edward had just come out to me. “Don’t…don’t be sorry, Edward.” I felt him shudder even as he nodded, and I had to stifle a groan at the sensation, since his face was still nestled in my neck. “Have you told anyone else?”
He cleared his throat lightly, then shook his head. “Not exactly…”
I pulled away, frowning, both puzzled and strangely pleased by his words. He looked at me, a faint blush creeping up his cheeks as he said, “Bella knows, but she confronted me about it…I didn’t actually tell her before that. I couldn’t deny it anymore, though.”
I muttered a soft, “Jesus…” as I cupped his cheek, my thumb brushing his cheekbone lightly. “Are you okay?”
He nodded. “Yeah, I’m fine.” He sighed, lowering his eyes, his blush deepening as he spoke. “I-I wanted to tell you first.”
My eyes widened a little. “Why? I mean…I’m honored you did, Edward, but I don’t understand…”
His gaze met mine again. “Jasper, I wanted to tell you, because if I couldn’t tell you the truth…”
He paused. My mind desperately tried to grasp what he was trying to say, but I felt as if I were just one step behind. He took a deep breath before trying again. “If I couldn’t tell you the truth, I wouldn’t be able to tell anybody. It had to be you first, Jazz.”
I still felt like I was missing something, something important, and I was beginning to feel a little annoyed – not with Edward, as much as with myself. His words simply weren’t making any sense to me. “Why? Just because I’m gay, too? Edward…anyone you tell will take it differently. You know I’d support you no matter what. You have to know that, after all these years as friends?”
He scowled slightly, muttering under his breath, “Friends…right.” He started pulling away again, reaching for his clothes as if only now becoming aware that he was still naked – exposed. I didn’t want him to feel uncomfortable – that’s why I’d kept my feelings for him hidden all these years – but I also didn’t want him to hide his body from me. I wanted to drink him in. I’d never had the chance to touch him, and the urge to do so now was becoming too much for me.
A thought formed – sluggishly, as if having to come through a thick fog – as Edward started pulling on his briefs. Why did he tell me first? He kissed me. Kissed me, and then told me he was gay, too. He hasn’t told anybody, but he told me. He wanted to be alone with me…Oh God, I’m an idiot!
I reached out, putting my hand over his wrist to stop his movement. I waited to speak until he turned to look at me. My voice was quiet; I was afraid I might be wrong but prayed I was right all the same. “Edward, please…tell me why you had to tell me first?”
He swallowed thickly as he settled down next to me again, sitting Indian style with his knees touching my leg. He trained his eyes on his hands as he fidgeted, picking at his nails. With a sigh, he said, “I had to tell you first, Jazz…because I’ve been in love with you for so long…”
My breathing hitched at his words, but he continued, “When you stopped hanging out alone with me…I thought it was because you’d figured out I liked you. That you didn’t feel the same way and didn’t want to…I don’t know…hurt my feelings or something. I was afraid to call you on it because I didn’t want to risk losing you. I certainly wasn’t ready to come out…I mean, you know my dad…”
I nodded. I did know his dad. He was not exactly a big fan of the LGBT community. He grudgingly tolerated me only because Edward and I were best friends and had been for years. I’d heard him make plenty of comments over the years – among them expressing his “concern” that I would turn his son gay simply by association – so I could definitely see why Edward would have had trouble coming to terms with his sexuality. I wondered what his dad would have to say about his son being gay. For Edward’s sake, I hoped the news would sway his father and that he would accept him. I wasn’t delusional enough, though, to think that would be the case. There was a good chance that he would react negatively. I just hoped it wouldn’t get too bad for Edward.
He sighed, still not looking at me. “I tried to be what he wanted me to be…it just didn’t work. I could never quite push my feelings aside, no matter how hard I tried. I watched you, after you came out. I was jealous – of you, because it seemed so easy for you. And of the guys you were with…I wanted to be them, Jasper. But you never did anything that made me think that was even possible.”
I groaned softly, tilting my head back against the tree. So much time wasted…
Edward moved away again; my eyes snapped to his face even as I reached my hand out and placed it on his knee. He watched me warily, and I couldn’t really blame him. He’d just put his heart on the line, and fool that I was, I didn’t respond in kind because I’d been too wrapped up in my own thoughts and emotions. I had to set him straight, though – pun not intended. I had to let him know. If ever there was a time for me to come out and tell him, this was it. I just had to do it…even if my heart felt like it would both cease to beat and try to escape my chest.
“Edward…” I shifted so I was kneeling in front of him. Cupping his cheeks, I smiled softly at him. “I’ve never shown you how I felt because I thought you were straight. I was scared that if I told you that I was in love with you – my best friend – you’d freak out or something. So I hid my feelings away. I didn’t allow myself to be alone with you because I was afraid you’d see how my body reacted to simply being close to you.”
His eyes brightened as he searched mine. Brushing my lips gently against his, I took his hand and let him feel just what he did to me – what he had always done to me. I rested my forehead against his and whispered, “This is because of you, Edward. It’s always been you.”
He looked down at where our hands rested on my erection, a blush creeping up his cheeks as he tentatively moved his hand over it. I bit my lip, wanting so much more, but I didn’t want to push him. When he gripped me through my jeans, though, I couldn’t stop the groan from escaping my lips. “Fuck, Edward…”
Grinning my favorite crooked grin, he looked at me as he repeated the movement. It was too much. Crashing my lips to his, I pushed him onto his back and, without deciding to do so, began rolling my hips slowly into his hand. I wanted more and, from the needy sounds coming from Edward as we kissed, so did he. I grabbed his hand, moving it above his head before doing the same with his other. The moment my hard-on touched his, both of us moaned, and Edward pulled away, muttering a soft, “Jesus, Jazz…please…”
Never in my wildest dreams – okay, maybe in my wildest dreams – would I have thought that Edward might feel the same, that he would want me just as badly as I wanted him – that he might actually love me as more than just a best friend. Part of me still had trouble grasping the reality of it. I had to hear him say it again.
My breathing had become ragged, both from emotion and from sheer want for this man, so my voice was strained when I spoke. “Tell me what you want, Edward.”
He muttered, “Christ…” His eyes were almost wild as he looked up at me. “You, Jasper…please…I want you.”
I whispered, “You have me, baby…” Kissing him hard, I rolled my hips against him again, earning a soft growl in response. Nipping along his jaw, I slowly tilted his head and breathed into his ear, “Please say you’ll be mine, too?”
As much as I wanted him, I didn’t want for this to be just a quick fuck or even an experiment. I didn’t think my heart could stand it if that’s all this turned out to be. I had to know he wanted more, or I would stop then and there – even if it would tear me apart.
My hand ran down his side, my thumb lightly brushing over his nipple as I went. With his soft moan enticing me further, I let my fingers slip under the waistband of his briefs, teasing his flesh as I waited for his answer. He whimpered, shifting his hips in an effort to get me to touch him. His hands went to my head, fingers tangling in my hair as he lifted my face up to meet his. The earnest look in his eyes – the sheer desire and love I saw shining in them – made my heart swell. “Yes, Jasper…yours.”
Crashing my lips to his again, I slipped my hand into his briefs, wrapping my fingers around his length. I coaxed it out of its confines and started pumping him slowly, eliciting soft, keening moans from Edward as he continued to kiss me. His hands frantically tried to find skin, but my clothes were in the way. He pulled back, panting as he looked at me. My hand never stopped moving as he spoke, his voice hitching every now and then. “J-Jazz…please…n-need to…oh God…see you…feel you…please…”
I let him go, sitting up to pull my shirt off. Before it had cleared my head, I felt Edward fumbling with my buckle, trying to get it loose. His hands were trembling somewhat, and I placed a hand over his while putting my finger under his chin, tipping his face up to mine. “Edward?”
He didn’t speak; he just swallowed a couple of times before finally nodding instead. I lowered my face to his, kissing him chastely as I cupped his cheek. “Baby, we won’t do anything you’re not ready to do, I promise. But you’ll need to tell me, okay, sweetheart?”
He nodded again, smiling softly this time as he set back to work on ridding me of my pants, boxers, socks, and shoes. He took his time, and as much as I wanted to just rip my clothes off and be done, I let him. I wouldn’t force him in any way. When he finally had me naked, he sat back and just watched me, his eyes drinking me in even as his fingers trailed lightly over my body, sending shivers down my spine. He whispered, “So fucking beautiful…”
I grinned. I knew exactly how he felt because I thought the same about him, and this time I was allowed to watch him, too. Only he was still wearing those briefs, and that just wouldn’t do. I quirked my brow, giving him no other warning before one of my hands went to his briefs, tugging them down, and the other to the back of his neck as I put my weight against his, forcing him to the ground again. Edward’s eyes went wide as I pulled the offending material off of him completely.
It didn’t take him very long to recover, though, as he pulled my face to his and claimed my lips with something akin to desperation. I settled my body against his, letting him feel my weight – and my very obvious arousal – as our hard lengths brushed against each other for the first time. My eyes closed of their own accord as I slowly moved against him, overcome by the heady realization that this was truly happening…that Edward was mine, was sharing this moment with me – his first sexual experience with a guy. And he wanted me.
I lowered my head, resting it against his shoulder as I continued to roll my hips, my eyes closed as I concentrated on simply feeling – on being in this moment. Edward’s hands roamed my body, seemingly trying to absorb everything by touch. His movements alternated between featherlight and rough. It was enough to drive me crazy and definitely had me wanting more. He was muttering under his breath, punctuated by soft moans, so I didn’t catch everything. I caught the occasional “please” and “feels so good,” which made me smile. I turned my face, placing soft kisses along his neck as I made my way to his mouth again. He responded eagerly, his tongue pushing into my mouth as if he were trying to quench a thirst that only I could relieve for him.
Reminding myself that this was his first time, I tried to keep control of myself. I wanted this to last, and I didn’t want to scare him off by moving too fast. Edward pushed against me, so thinking he wanted to stop, I pulled away. He wasn’t having any of it, though. His lips found mine again as he continued to push me until I was lying on my back and he was straddling me. He sat up slowly, his hands on my shoulders as he watched me intently for a moment. His lips were red and swollen slightly, and his eyes held excitement, lust, and something else I didn’t get the chance to figure out because he began to move down my body, leaving a trail of open mouthed kisses in his wake.
I watched him with wide eyes, my lips parted and my breathing rapid as he moved lower, until his face was just inches away from my aching cock. “Edward…what..?” I didn’t recognize my own voice; it sounded hoarse and unsteady.
Edward gazed up at me through his eyelashes, a determined look on his face as he said, “Please, Jasper? I want to know…to taste you…”
He’s serious? Fuck…I didn’t even do that my first time…sweet Jesus…
I didn’t know what to say, and even if I had the words, I wouldn’t have been able to use my voice at that point. So I just nodded. He smiled at me, and I couldn’t have stopped the grin from forming on my lips if I’d tried. I threaded my fingers in his hair, scratching his scalp lightly as he turned his attention to my cock. He wrapped his fingers around it tentatively, pumping me a few times before lowering his face and licking the pre-cum that was leaking out.
I shivered; my eyes were glued to the sight of Edward’s lips as he slowly wrapped them around me. My fingers tightened their grip on his hair when I felt his tongue swirl around my head, and I let out a low moan. Never in my life had I been as turned on as I was right in that moment, watching Edward grow more confident as he bobbed up and down my hard length, his movements becoming more sure with every sound of want and need that escaped me. I was babbling with no idea what words were pouring over my lips, but it seemed to spur him on.
Much too soon for my liking, he pulled away. He raised his head, licking his lips as he watched me intently. His voice was low and husky when he spoke, and the way his fingers idly caressed my length made it hard for me to focus on his words. “Jasper?” He blushed. “Will you…I mean…I want to…”
I raised myself up, resting my weight on one arm as I cupped his face. He stopped moving and part of me bemoaned the loss; the other was grateful for it as it allowed me to concentrate on him. “Whatever it is, Edward, you can tell me.” I spoke softly, wanting to set him at ease.
Closing his eyes, he took a deep breath and said, “I want you, Jasper…to feel you.” He opened his eyes again, and I was taken aback by the vulnerability I saw reflected in them, as well as the desire that shimmered on the surface. He whispered, “Make love to me, Jazz?”
Of everything I had expected to happen today, this had certainly not been anywhere close on my radar. I stared at him, my mouth slightly agape as I tried to both comprehend his request – Make love to me, Jazz? – and think if I had anything with me. With a feeling of intense disappointment, I realized that I didn’t. This would be one thing I couldn’t do for him, at least not here and now – and I wanted to.
God, did I want to.
I rested my forehead against his and sighed. “I’m sorry…I don’t have…”
Before I could finish my sentence, Edward moved, scrambling for his bag. I watched him in confusion. “Edward, what…?”
Apparently finding what he was looking for, he tossed the bag aside and sat back down in front of me again. He was blushing fiercely as he held out his hand, and when I looked down, I knew why. I gave a short laugh of disbelief as I gazed up at him again. “You planned for this?”
He bit his lip, lowering his eyes and blushing even deeper. I ran my fingers through his hair, watching him closely. His voice was so soft that I almost didn’t catch what he said, especially since he started to ramble. “Kind of? I mean, I-I’ve wanted to for so long…you have no idea…” He took another deep breath and then said in one long stream, “I’ve been wanting to feel what it’s like for so damn long…I’ve seen it, watched porn,” he paused, muttering under his breath as he ran a hand over his face, “so much porn…”
He shook his head at himself, and all I could do was sit there and listen to him, amazed at what he was telling me. Edward looked at me. “Jasper…I didn’t know what would happen today, but I hoped…I want this. So much…I just thought…you know… better safe?”
I grinned and finished, “Than sorry. Got it.”
He gave me an impish smile and rolled his eyes even as he groaned, muttering, “God, can I be any more pathetic..?”
“Hey!” I frowned and sat up so I could grab his face in both hands, forcing him to look at me. “Don’t say that. You’re not pathetic. I get it, Edward; I really do. And to be honest, I fucking love that you thought to bring it, because I want this, too.”
His eyes searched mine, and he covered my hands with his. “Really?”
Kissing him briefly, I grinned. “Yes, really. You don’t even know how long I’ve wanted to, or how often I’ve fantasized about this. I-” I sighed softly. “Just now, I hated the thought of not being able to say yes – of having to deny you the very thing I want just as much as you do.”
He stared at me, silent for a prolonged moment as he seemed to let my words sink in. I let him have his time, for the time being content to simply be near him, to touch him. I knew that he felt the truth of my words when I saw him bite his lower lip, causing the grin that was spreading over his lips to be crooked and the look on his face to become mischievous. I chuckled, rolling my eyes at him, and kissed him – languidly this time – and he reciprocated in kind, pulling me down to lie on top of him again.
His hands roamed my back again while mine caressed wherever I could reach, our lips never breaking contact. After a few minutes of this, I pulled away to look at him and murmured, “Tell me what you want, baby.”
His fingers tangled in my hair, and he blushed again as he said, “I want to feel you…in me. Please…”
I nodded and grabbed the small bottle that Edward had dropped onto the blanket. Putting some on my fingers, I rubbed them together to warm the lube before preparing him. He watched my every move, his breathing speeding, and I could tell he was tensing up. Kissing him tenderly, I murmured for him to relax. He nodded and took a deep breath. I tried to distract him, my free hand teasing his nipples, caressing every inch of his skin as he lay before me while I gently probed him with the other. I took my time, making sure he was as relaxed and stretched as I could possibly get him, and it wasn’t until he started to squirm and plead with me to take him that I stopped.
His eyes were hooded and his skin flushed – he looked absolutely beautiful. My gaze was on him even as I rolled the condom on and made sure I was well slicked before leaning over him. He pulled my face to his for a searing kiss, and then he moaned softly into my mouth when he felt the tip of my cock pressing against his entrance. “Please, Jazz…make me yours?” he murmured against my lips.
With one more kiss, I raised myself up so I was resting my weight on my elbow and slowly pushed inside of him. The feeling was bliss as his heat enveloped me, and I had to struggle to take it slow, to allow him to get used to the intrusion. I settled myself back so I was hovering over him, my eyes on his for any signs from him to have me stop – there were none. Instead, he shifted his hips and urged me to move. I wasn’t about to deny him.
Before too long, we were both writhing, panting, kissing – overcome with knowing that this was happening. Edward gave himself completely, and I offered myself to him the only way I knew how.
I wrapped my fingers around his length, stroking him in time with every thrust of my hips as I got closer and closer to my release. I needed him to come with me, yearned to see the look on his face, hear the sound of his voice as I brought him to completion.
He whimpered, “Oh God…Jasper!” as he arched his back, and before long I felt his release spill over my hand as he tightened around me.
I let out a low, “Fuck, Edward…” I struggled to keep my eyes open and focused on him as I followed after him.
He wrapped his arms around me, pulling me tightly to his chest in spite of the sticky mess covering it. He tilted his head, pressing his lips against mine with a soft hum. Our kiss began chastely but became something more as his lips parted mine. I closed my eyes, enjoying the way our tongues brushed against each other. I felt at peace, as if I was whole for the first time in my life, lying in Edward’s arms.
After a minute or so, I pulled away with a soft sigh, caressing his cheek with the back of my fingers as I smiled at him. His eyes were swimming with emotion, a soft smile on his lips as he watched me. Kissing him briefly, I slipped out of him, both of us moaning softly at the loss of contact. Once I’d taken care of the condom, I grabbed my boxers and cleaned him off as best I could – I didn’t want to use the towels, and I could always go commando.
When I was finished, I lay down next to Edward and held out my arm so he could snuggle up to me, which he did with a content expression on his face. We were silent for a while, both of us absorbing the reality of what had just happened as we traced lazy patterns on the other’s skin wherever we could reach.
Edward was lying with his head on my shoulder, watching his fingers move across my chest – at least as far as I could tell, anyway. He spoke softly, “Thank you…”
I tilted my head, trying to look at him. “For what?”
He raised his head, propping his chin on his hand as his eyes met mine. “For giving me this…”
I chuckled, kissing his forehead. “You gave me just as much, if not more, sweetheart. So thank you.”
He rolled his eyes, smiling. Then he sighed softly, a frown marring his brow as he said, “Jasper?”
“Mmm?” My fingers trailed lazily up and down his arm as I let my head fall back again.
He whispered, “Where do we go from here?”
I shifted to my side so I could look at him, and he mirrored my position. Cupping his face, my eyes searched his. “Where do you want this to go, Edward?”
My heart was beating rapidly, suddenly afraid that he didn’t want to be with me after all – that this really had been a one time thing, an experiment. I held my breath as I waited for him to answer.
He covered my hand with his, holding it in place as he bit his lip, frowning. “I…I want to be with you – to see…” He blushed, huffing softly in annoyance – though whether with me or with himself, I couldn’t tell. “I meant what I said, Jasper…I want to be yours – only yours. This…” he motioned between us, “feels right. I’ve never felt like this before, Jazz. For the first time in my life, I feel like I am who I’m supposed to be – like I’m with the person I belong to.”
Closing the distance between us, I kissed him hard. Everything he had said, I felt too, and it took me a while to find my voice and let him know.
“Edward, you are who I belong to. I feel the same way, baby, and I’m not about to let you go now that I have you. I love you.”
The smile that lit up his face was worth gold to me – his responding, “I love you, too,” was priceless, and something I would forever carry with me.