I try to keep my promise to Vera but it’s so very difficult to witness how the two of them have grown so close. To see her allow Lloyd’s touches and shows of affection.

The jealousy I feel is two-fold: I want it to be me instead.

Both as the one to touch her, and to be in her place. Not that I desire Lloyd – I purely don’t. But to have someone as devoted to me as he is to her…

That, I long for.

Still, I do my best not to let on and be happy for her.