Twilight fanfiction
I try to keep my promise to Vera but it’s so very difficult to witness how the two of them have grown so close. To see her allow Lloyd’s touches and shows of affection.
The jealousy I feel is two-fold: I want it to be me instead.
Both as the one to touch her, and to be in her place. Not that I desire Lloyd – I purely don’t. But to have someone as devoted to me as he is to her…
That, I long for.
Still, I do my best not to let on and be happy for her.
Today’s been the best day of my life.
First, Emmett took the kids over to his mom’s for the day.
Then he brought me breakfast in bed – and gave dessert as only he can.
He didn’t allow me to do a thing around the house – he did it all.
He even made my favorite lunch: smoked lox on rye.
During the afternoon, Emmett insisted I pick out a movie to watch, so we sat through both Grease and Star Trek, before he took me out to our favorite restaurant.
And now, we’re walking home. Through the snow.
Best. Day. Ever.
Vera and Lloyd have just returned from their honeymoon in the country – a gift from her parents. The only gift they’d been able to afford. Vera had been thrilled. At least, she looked it.
I sigh, my finger lightly caressing the image in front of me of a smiling Vera, Lloyd’s arm secure around her waist.
This, the album I have put together of her wedding day, is my gift to her. Not the pictures, mind, as those are ones her father had taken. But everything else is mine.
The hidden messages no one will ever see, are mine.
Watching her walk down the aisle is agony. No one else notices, but I see how she steels herself, forcing the smile on her face to brilliancy. A glance at Lloyd tells me he’s too deliriously happy to have picked up on it.
Good. I’m glad. As much as this pains me, to see the love of my life be wed to another, I wish her no harm. Only happiness.
Our eyes meet briefly and for just a second, she falters. She brushes it off as tripping over her veil and moves on.
I barely make it through the ceremony.
Weeks fly by and the day is finally here. I help Vera fix her hair, making it look just so. Letting my fingers linger along her neck, our eyes meet in the mirror. She reaches her hand up to pat mine, a sad smile on her lips.
My own isn’t much better, so I close my eyes briefly, take a deep breath, then flash her a happier one. “You’ve never looked more beautiful, Vera. Lloyd is a lucky man.”
I stop, unable to continue without risking my voice betraying me. Squeezing her shoulders, I manage, “Come, it’s time.”
She nods.
I know she’s right, that she doesn’t have a choice in the matter – neither of us do. I know how her father’s been pushing the issue of Vera finally finding a man to take care of her.
He isn’t uncaring by any means, but feels it’s the duty of a daughter to be wed early and have children. He’s been pressing her nearly from the moment we had come out to society. In truth, it should surprise me that Vera’s been able to hold out for as long as this.
At least he’ll allow her the choice of who…
Turning my head, I try to hide the hurt I feel. Hurt I know I have no right to feel. My heart believes differently and a lone tear trails down my cheek.
Vera cups my face in her hands, forcing me to look at her. I swallow hard when I see her eyes shimmer, too. “Rosalie, I’m sorry. So sorry. I wish… I wish things were different, but Father…”
Her jaw works a few times before she continues. “Lloyd’s a good man, at least, and I do love him, in a way. Or I believe I could do… someday…”
A soft knock startles me out of my reverie. Quickly wiping away a few stray tears, I clear my throat, straightening my posture and turning to the door. “Come in.”
Vera tentatively steps into my room, closing the door behind her with a soft click. She leans against it. For a moment we just stare at each other.
Slowly, she steps forward until she’s right in front of me. Her soft hand touches my cheek as she kneels down before me, our eyes never breaking contact.
“Oh, Rose… my beautiful Rose…” She sighs. “I still love you, my precious one.”
Lloyd Henry Roche.
How I despise him.
Envy him.
He is free to court Vera – to hold her hand, touch her, caress her.
To steal a kiss from her.
He’s been courting her for weeks and I cannot stand it.
Sitting behind my dressing table, I stare blankly at my reflection. I’ve claimed a headache in order to be left alone by Mother and my brothers.
In truth, I’m sulking, thinking about how things will never be the same again.
That I’ve lost her.
A sob threatens at the realization that I never truly had her to begin with.
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