At The Deep End Drabbles JPOV

Happy Birthday, Anna!  

Regret

People walking into the cafeteria – friends greeting their families after weeks apart.

I’m one of them, and I put on a smile as I hug Momma and Rose, giving Daddy a short salute as always, before he gives me a brief hug.  

I see coppery hair moving closer, and I turn to him, shaking my head. Regret and shame eat at my insides as I see a lone tear fall down his cheek.  

I want so badly to go to him, to hold him close, to kiss him, to apologize for hurting him as I’m so obviously doing.  

Hope
 
All through dinner Momma asks me questions about camp, and I answer quietly – afraid that she will pick up on Edward.

Pick up on what happened.

On how I’ve changed.  

Rose watches me all night but doesn’t say anything, and I’m filled with hope that my secret is safe. That it will always be just that – my secret to keep locked away in my heart, buried so deep that no one can see.  

Because if anyone did…if Daddy ever found out…

I close my eyes, taking a slow, deep breath as I try to look forward. 

Fingertips

Soft, teasing touches flutter over my skin.

Barely there brushing of fingertips cause me to shiver in delight. I moan softly, aching for more – wanting for something I had once upon a time. Something I can never have again.  

A tightening in grip, a change in pace, gentle pressure applied right there, and I’m soaring again.  

Tender caresses draw out prolonged pleasure – though somewhere in the back of my mind, I wonder how it is possible to feel like this again.

Closing my fingers around hers, I feel wrong because the hand holding me isn’t his.

Surf

Sitting on the beach, I watch the surf roll in.

It’s sunset, and my mind’s adrift. It’s been almost a year since camp, and I still haven’t forgotten. I’m not sure I ever truly will.   

All it takes is a glimpse of red hair, or green eyes, and I am transported – my body responding to remembered touches.

I clench my eyes shut, trying to will his hold on me away.

I have to forget. Have to let him go – try to be…  

I sigh, opening my eyes as I whisper a prayer to feel right again.  

Street

Out on the street in a new city, trying to learn my way – again.

Another chance – though at what, I’m not sure. 

To be normal?

Fit in?

Find myself again?

I’m not sure how, or that I need to. I’ve graduated high school, and I’m both thankful for it, and not.

Grandpa Hale passed away several years ago, leaving me a fund – and so much more. A future, an opportunity, and more questions to answer.

What path do I take?

Work, or school?

The road splits.

So many choices.

I look up and decide.

I go left.